In the previous blog, I mentioned the typical pattern of those who feel running around for little achievement.
We all live with some habits. Most of us eat the meals at the same time and frequency. Some goes out every Friday or Saturday night. Taking a lesson or class creates your weekly or monthly pattern. Your grocery shopping may be always done in a certain day and time, and you may regularly pick up certain items. It is clear that you need much less will power to do something habitually.
So if we can ‘upgrade’ our habits of eating, exercise, work, childcare, shopping, etc, our life must be upgraded, too. And to do so, you need to work hard for only 3 weeks. Once you pass the establishing time, it becomes a habit so that you won’t need so much work to continue it.
Nevertheless, the question is ‘how?’ If it was so easy, people would have been already changing their lifestyle as they wish.
I have been thinking of it for a long time. And I am coming to the conclusion. There are 3 aspects to accelerate the endless motivation.
- Understand the direction of life
- Think by yourself
- Connect with others
1. Understand the direction of life
Why do we live? You don’t need to believe me, but I believe we live to grow. The final goal is not to be perfect, secure or strong. It is to learn and grow as far as you can until you die.
We often focus on a short-term, practical goal such as getting a good mark at school, making money, being famous or getting an ideal mate. It is not a bad thing and you will have the temporary energy. However, eventually you will start feeling some heaviness because they are all short-term goals to make you run a 100m race here and there.
What you achieve in an each 100m race is a skill. Skill is to be used for a purpose. What you achieve in an each race should be utilized to achieve more advanced goals. Unless knowing the advanced goals, which defines the direction of your life, the skills you learn through your life won’t make the full use of them. You burn your energy for little return. As the result, you start burning out.
2. Think by yourself
Whether you are aware of it or not, we DO NOT think by ourselves for the most of the time.
Why does it rain? Because the moisture in the air gets cooled, becomes a drop of water and with the gravity it falls down to the ground. Is this my thought? No, it is what I have learned from somewhere.
I am not saying not to believe science and all other common knowledge.
I am saying to be aware how carelessly we think we ‘know’ something.
When you go to a foreign country where the language and culture are totally different from your own, you realize your ‘common sense’ is not common at all. You may feel that place is either terrible or wonderful, comparing with what you are used to.
Which is better or worse? I don’t know. But, the fact is there are a great number of people sharing some standard which is not necessarily matching with the rest of the world.
I am still amazed how few people understand this absolute fact. Selective vision and hearing. Many stays comfortably within their limited ‘norms’ and totally miss the point someone else is clearly seeing from the outer world. It’s a shame.
To breakthrough your current life, it is essential to go beyond your current perspective. Be aware how little you really know. Question if you are thinking by yourself or just believing what someone else says. Train yourself to think by yourself. This is a crucial skill especially from now on in the global world.
3. Connect with others
Do not stay comfortably with the image of connecting. Having many friends on your Facebook doesn’t necessarily mean you are connecting with people. This is not the matter of quantity but quality.
We can develop a deep trust in between, but it takes effort. Clicking on the website doesn’t really contribute much to develop your relationship with others.
Go meet real people. Share some experience. Face to the feedback.
There is a good chance to feel great or miserable. Either way, it is the opportunity to learn something (remember, the direction of life is to learn and grow).
But when it comes to the motivation, seek the people who lift your spirit. Period.
Your pay is to step out of your comfortable zone and knock the door of something new. If it gives you energy, stick with it. Do not let it go. Such a person or thing is so valuable to you.
Remember, you lack the motivation to do something new to begin with. Then from where to find the motivation to survive the initial 3 weeks? Find from somewhere else!
The right people encourage you to keep going. Connect with such people. Go to the place where gives you the energy. Keep the items that inspire you around.
I am going to talk about these more in a seminar in this fall. (Digby, October 31st – tentative) The detail will be on this website in the near future.
Please come see me if you are interested!