This is following the previous post about well behaving but manipulating children.
Generally their parents don’t let the kids go on very long due to the shortage of time and/or patience.
They listen to the child first of all. They cuddle and comfort her. They try to sooth her but she is still unhappy. Often a bribe such as a candy or a promise of a fun activity is used to redirect her mood. She plays the role of poor-me. The parents encourage her offering the expected attention and service.
To begin with, a child is to be manipulating. It is their survival skill to control adults, the ones who can protect and feed them, to get what she need and want.
Typically the parents of a well behaving child are educated. They try to talk to him than to vituperate when he misbehaves. They encourage his good behavior by positive reinforcement. But frequently they overlook the negative reinforcement they are giving to him.
Although there is the influence of each child’s unique personality, often there are some reasons that pave the way for the emotional breakout, especially if the child usually behaves well. He may have been hungry or tired. Maybe lack of sleep, too much sugar, over stimulation or getting sick. Or some issue keeps him under great stress even though he is not aware of it. Possibly the combination of a few.
Stress management is essential to life. As far as the situation is suitable for him, he should experience it as training. The unpleasant experience encourages him to think better. He starts seeing the sequence and hopefully become more proactive. If too much sugar makes him hyper, he may start behaving with sweets. If short sleep ruins his day, he may listen to his mother better when his bed time comes.
It seems sometime the educated parents don’t see their child is consistently growing. She is not the age that requires full protection any more but capable for advanced training. Instead of keep cuddling her, start teaching why she is so miserable. Explain what possibly she can do to avoid the same problem. If she is cranky because she is hungry skipping a proper meal, don’t take her to McDonald to sooth her. If she is miserable because she stayed up late the night before, suggest her to go to bed early than cheering her up with her favorite movie at that night.
The more you feed the poor-me child in a shortsighted manner, the more he expects you to do him a favor as far as he whines and performs. The negative reinforcement encourages this power struggle of the child.