After a long break, I started performing music in public several years ago. One day I performed with a few others and it was a disaster. I was quite embarrassed and wanted to disappear from the stage as soon as possible. When it finally finished, the only thing I was thinking was to pack up and go.
A while later I happened to find my old friend on YouTube. He was playing the guitar in a rock band 20 years ago, now playing an acoustic with a singer as a duo. It was some sort of summer festival. The type of music he played was totally different from what he used to play. It was already quite impressive but what shocked me the most was his deep bow he made after they finished the performance.
He used to be a typical ‘young rock musician’, more ‘cool’ than polite and friendly. At least that’s what I remember. After so many years, his music gets much simpler yet richer, his attitude to the audience shows the full appreciation and respect.
When I saw his bow, I remembered how arrogant I was on the stage that day. I ran away after I finished the performance without thanking the audience. I didn’t care about the people who were there for us but just myself. Of course the stage was terrible and so was the after-stage!
Since then, I am trying to make a bow with my heart.
Why, it is a Japanese tradition to make a bow. I did it when we saw teachers, relatives and other adults when I was a kid. We did it when each class started at school. Even now whoever comes to a public place, they bow, bow and bow in Japan. But when I was bowing as custom, was I really aware of the true meaning of it? After I totally forgotten the custom in Western culture, I now realized how rich meaning such a simple movement has.
I now make a bow to the presenter in the computer screen when I watch some educational video. Whether I agree him or not, I like the contents or not in the end, I start with the fresh mind anyway. This makes me be more humble and open. As the result, I learn more.
In person, although I make a bow accordingly to his or her custom, I shake hands alternatively in Western culture way more often. After I realized the meaning of a bow with my best respect, I started a handshake with the similar mind. Still they are not the same.
Making a bow gives you the short ‘break’ before you start the communication with someone and when you part each other. A handshake doesn’t cause the same feeling.
If you have an opportunity, try to bow with your heart. It may be quite awkward if it is not your custom. Actually the more you are not accustomed to it, the more it may make you realize interesting things.
When you lower your head, what do you feel? You may feel embarrassed, scary and/or worry about putting you into the position where you can’t see the other person’s response. You lose the eye contact at that moment while the other is watching you. Isn’t it a funny feeling?
But this ‘let go your control’ action is the key of humbleness. You let your self-conscious for a moment. You may close your eyes when you bow. You set your mind for the time together from the time of Me.
When you part, you may appreciate what you get (e.g. what I learned from the video), but the most important part is to appreciate the opportunity you could have with him/her. In our life, we meet thousands of people. But only with so many of them we have the opportunity to stop and deepen the relationship by watching, listening and talking. When you think of it, you realize the time you could share is quite special.
Karate, a Japanese traditional martial art, carries the manners such as bowing in the Western practice. You are learning not only the techniques but also the mindset.
I will probably not making a bow to everyone here in Canada, but I want to practice the mindset to everyone I meet. It is not so easy but I want to be more conscious.