I have seen some busy ‘super women’ who are smart, kind, very capable at work and do most if not all housework and child care. Their husbands are social, nice and, to me, look quite helpful. And their children are smart, well behaving yet manipulating.
I enjoy having kids around. I have been babysitting my friends’ kids many times. I quickly learned the best way is to treat them just like my own. Occasionally I have to make them accept the situation they don’t like such as letting others to take turn, making a decision when they keep changing their mind forever, stopping disrespectful behavior, etc. When I set the line, they rarely argue with me but start sobbing and/or sulking. It goes on for quite a while. Eventually start saying they want to go home, crying for mommy (or sometimes daddy). They work hard to demonstrate how unhappy they are.
Once they are in that mode, it takes quite a while to calm them down. When their whining escalates, usually it indicates they are tired. A bit of sleep helps to bring their spirits back.
To begin with, they are all good kids. The caring parents have taught them the manners and social rules quite well. They are just not used to be left as is when they are in that particular situation.
I acknowledge the fact that they are unhappy. I am kind and sympathetic for their frustration. On the other hand, I don’t try to ‘fix it’. I explain them with a kind manner that the unfortunate situation is not something I, or they, can change. As nobody can do anything, the kids have no choice but be left as ‘unhappy’. They are not ignored though.
At that time they are tired whether they admit it or not. When they get really tired, they naturally fall into sleep. It makes them happy after all. Repeating such an experience, they eventually learn that the whining doesn’t make things any better and develops the ability to deal with their frustration in a better way.