Fear is our built in protection mechanism (see Self-preservation). It is the instinct for seeking safety. Adrenaline is released and you become more alert to things around you. In a haunted house, you become more sensitive with subtle sounds and movements around you. You are ready to jump up and move to avoid the danger.
It is a good thing to have it.
The fearless kids almost give you a heart attack by jumping into the middle of the road, climbing up high on an unstable structure, swinging a cutting knife, etc. They don’t have fear because they haven’t known it yet. We teach them how painful if they are hit by a car, break their bone, cut their finger off, etc. We teach them the following painful sequences again and again. Eventually they learn how terrible it would be using their imagination. The fear is established and the protection mechanism kicks in. They become more careful.
As we grow up, we learn a lot of dangers by hearing and seeing instead of really experiencing it. We imagine how awful it would be if it happens on us and the picture motivates you to avoid it.
Some fears come from your past experience, which is called trauma. But, many fears come only from your imagination. If you are not aware what is the fact and what is your imagination, you may end up being wrapped up with your fear.
What is the fact, or generally considered the fact, and what is not – this is a very important mentality.
I perform music. I have my business and write the blog. I am involved some social activities. Whether it is singing, speaking or writing, when I express myself in public, I am terrified. I am afraid of people’s negative reaction. But, unless I bring it out, I shouldn’t judge how I will be accepted. And the only way to find out is to do it.
At this point, the facts are a) I have not expressed myself b) I don’t know how it will be accepted.
My imaginations are a) people may not understand what I am talking/showing about b) people may think I am stupid, uncool and/or annoying.
The imagination is just a possibility. I may annoy someone, I may not. I may be ignored completely, I may not. I repeat – the only way to figure it out is to do it.
So I take an action. I express myself. I don’t hear any obvious response. But again, here are the facts and imagination.
The fact is a) I don’t see any response at this point.
My imaginations are a) I couldn’t interest anyone b) I was ignored.
But this is not done yet. As time goes, often I realize people are actually paying attention. Then it becomes like this:
The facts are a) sometimes people pay more attention on me than I think b) often it takes time to get people’s feedback c) you’ll never know unless you try.
It is not wise to encourage kids to jump into the road to see if they will really be hit by a car or not. There’s certainly something not worth it to try.
But, in many cases, we are judging things with our own imagination before we really try. The fear coming from imagination holds you back.
Be more aware of your own feelings. If you detect your fear, think if it is based on the fact or imagination. Sort out the facts and imaginations.
No risk, no gain. Until you try, you’ll never know. Know the mechanism of your fear and break it if you want to grow.