Doubt

 

Sometimes I take embarrassingly a long time to get a regular grocery shopping done. I suspect most people take half of the time I spend if not less.

Say, I got my usual bag of apples and want another kind of fruits. Ah, fresh strawberries are on sale. It’s really a good deal. They look and smell good. Kids will love them. But I don’t really want to encourage non-local, non-seasonal, non-organic food. Should I choose the organic banana instead? It’s organic and quite economical. But they come from somewhere far away. Kids don’t always eat them. Not the best for my diabetic husband either. No matter how good or cheap they are what’s the point if we just let them go bad? How about organic blueberries? Nutritious and everyone loves them. Yikes, white mold is growing. I’m not going to pay that much for this. Okay, go back to the strawberries. After all they are really good price. Should I get lots and freeze some? Will I have time to do it? Will there enough space in the fridge or freezer? Maybe there will be more on sale from now on as the spring is coming. Probably I should get only a container today. But this is actually the best price possible. So should I get…

Okay, you are already either giggling or annoyed. Anyway, that’s why I can’t finish shopping quickly.

 

Is that for saving? My husband says I am cheap. I humbly accept it, yet I am also aware the amount I am saving is not worth it for the time I am spending.

Then why can’t I make up my mind easily?

 

I think my back-and-forth comes from doubts. The doubt about the quality and value of the product. The doubt about my own decision making ability.

 

The ironical fact is the more you learn the harder it becomes to make a decision.

An apple a day is supposed to be good for you. Okay, let’s get a bag of apple. The herbicides and pesticides are quite harmful to you and the ecosystem. Okay, let’s go with organic. The term ‘organic’ is used for marketing and the claim of ‘organic’ doesn’t necessarily mean better quality. Some chemicals are allowed to use even for the products labeled as organic. Hmm, then is the double price of this organic product worth it? There is the exploitation going on in some countries to export products. Is it a good idea to purchase the reasonable organic apples from Peru? Instead should I choose the non-organic local apples?

So many questions come up. You are afraid of making a mistake. You can’t trust the producers and vendors. You don’t know what to choose. Nevertheless, you need to get something to feed yourself.

 

I don’t want to ignore my doubts. Usually my doubt comes from the lack of knowledge. I don’t know enough, so I can’t say yes or no confidently about the matter.

Even if I pretend I don’t have any problem, my uncertain, uncomfortable doubt will not go away. So instead of fighting with it, I admit my own ignorance. Okay, I don’t know about this.

On the other hand, admitting knowing nothing doesn’t really help much to make a decision. I still need to get food for the family today. I can’t keep strolling the store forever.

So I put my doubt aside for a moment and take an action. It’s not perfect but the best I can do.

 

What you do is the best you can do each time. Too bad if someone doesn’t like your decision. After all, there will be always someone who doesn’t agree with you no matter what you do.

There is nothing wrong to be skeptical and critical about something. Having a caution is a good thing to protect yourself and others.

But you shouldn’t let the doubts stop your life. You should trust yourself who makes the best choice at that time.