My only regular e-mail magazine is about the self awareness and conscious through the sexuality. The author was raped in age 15 and went through various physical and mental health problems and unsuccessful relationships including a divorce.
One of her mentors had a severe car accident when he was 16 years old. 49% of his body got the third degree burn. Even after 33 operations, his appearance was totally modified from original good looking. After suffering from people’s awkward attitudes for a long time, he came to realize it was him who had believed people were looking him down because of his appearance.
I have a friend who was suffering from the relationship with her family, especially her father. After years of self exploring, she succeeded to understand him and they became intimate again. But now she is struggling with an uncommon disease. She seems like losing lots of energy and mobility as time goes. It is hard to believe she is so sick however only by seeing a beautiful smile photo on her Facebook.
Another friend of mine ended up with depression after the unsuccessful relationship with her ex boyfriend. She has been recovered and married another man, yet is still trying not to fall down into the same path when things are getting stressful. She got a car accident a few years ago that greatly changed her career and life. Her parents’ health conditions are downhill and their financial situation is getting worse. Her sister’s marriage is getting jeopardized. She gets the blame from the brother-in-law that she doesn’t help her family but carrying on a selfish life.
On the other hand, not everyone’s life is as dramatic as theirs. No serious accident, disease, abuse, poverty, etc. We all have some sad childhood memories like my mother was working and couldn’t come to the school events and such, but they are the kind of things we just suck up as we grow up.
When you are protected and well fed, you have no need to take a risk. No risk, no gain. You are always in the mild, warm light. Without the shadow, you never appreciate the brightness of your life.
Someone who has a dramatic life, either she likes it or not, is often pushed to take a chance to survive. The desperation to get out of the darkness makes her try anything possible. The deeper the shadow she goes through is, the brighter the other side of the life becomes. Unfortunately not all succeed to find the light, but when he survives and comes to the point to see both the shadow and light, he shines.
A dramatic life story moves people. Many founders of an organization have some drastic experiences in the past. Magazine articles, books and dramas are mainly featuring the dramas of people’s life. Their stories inspire people. We always want to see the hope that we, human being, can go through the difficulties of our life with courage and love.
But is it true that only those people with a dramatic life can see the brightest side of the life? Is your life too ordinary and boring compared with someone who’s been surviving through an incurable disease and harsh treatments from people?
I don’t think so.
We all have a unique life that is the unique composition of millions of elements. It is impossible to compare the depth of people’s suffering. Although two persons are in the same situation, each feels differently. Some have more tolerance to a challenge than others. The conditions of the situation don’t define how much the person is suffering from it.
The man whose original body was totally distorted by the accident wrote a book about his life. He got a lot of responses. Many readers thanked him saying it gave them the hope to live. He had the urge to see those who were suffering so much. When he saw them, he found they all looked normal. They were nothing different from those who he saw in the station, store and everywhere. Nobody looked like obviously carrying some serious problem at the first glance.
He came to the realization that we all have some pain inside. He has his own pain, so does someone else, whether you see it on the surface or not.
Whether you think your life is dramatic or not, you are suffering a lot or not, we all have something in our life. As far as you have the sense to feel the struggling and pain, you have the chance to understand someone else’s feelings. If we forget this sense, our life is going to be very difficult.
You have your own pain, your own shadow that gives the life a contrast. Your bright side of the life becomes brighter thanks to it.
What makes your life dramatic is not a dramatic event itself. Your life becomes dramatic because you see the contrast among the elements of your life. Your drama may not be as colorful and dynamic like Picasso and Andy Warhol but soft and delicate like Monet and Cezanne. We can’t say which is better. They are all different and we appreciate all.
I keep writing this blog with the hope that ordinary people like me discover (dis-cover, you take the cover off and expose what is already there) the value of the life. There is so much to discover.